Saturday, August 21, 2010

Do you think the relationship you have with your Dad has an effect on relationships with your partner?

If so I'm screwed.





I mean like girls in general. But I don't have a good relationship with my Dad hardly anyone in my family does, will this effect me. In fact I'm slightly scared of him.Do you think the relationship you have with your Dad has an effect on relationships with your partner?
No matter what, our fathers have an effect on what we choose for ourselves, good and bad. How you feel about yourself even moreso will affect what kind of man you date, without confidence in yourself and self respect, you will usually attract predatorial type men. It's not about dad as much as it's about you.





it will only affect you as much as you allow it to. if your partner is female, its unlikely. if you already have a male partner, compare his attributes to your fathers and what your level of fear is when you think of him. if you find that he is similar, then your leaning is towards ';gaining daddy's approval'; and settling for what youre accustomed to from a male figure. Depending on what about your father makes you afraid will depend greatly on how it affects your relationships. Is it because he was sexually abusive? Emotionally? Physically? I have a tendancy to date men the opposite of my father, who was a very abusive person, prideful and angry, selfish and had an overall lack of respect. I date humble, patient, giving, respectful men...my dad was a mans man and I date somewhat effeminate men.Do you think the relationship you have with your Dad has an effect on relationships with your partner?
This is a very good and interesting question.





I think having a father figure in your life does play an important role in the lives we live as women. For example. I grew up in a home with both mother and father. My father has always been here for me and helped me whenever he could.





A lot of my female friends grew up in home where there was no father figure. All of them are unwed single mothers who jump from relationship to relationship trying to fill the ';void'; in their lives.





I am single with no kids and no boyfriend. I'm sure that just because I had a father in my life and they didn't, isn't the main reason why our lives are so different. I do think that this does play a major factor.
Absolutely.
I believe it can have an effect on future relationships, talking from experience. However, if you are aware now that it could then you are half way to making sure that it can change. it is down to you to become the person you want to be and break the mold....please try.
I think all people, albeit subconsciously, tent to chose partners similar to their parents or close guardians. This is probably because they feel more comfortable with people they can understand easily, even if it is abusive.
Absolutely. My father used to put the fear of God into my mother so she used to drill home that all men are bastards. Judging by my attitude as an adult i would say yes, he definatley has.
It has influenced me, yes.
Yes. If you don't have a good relationship with your dad, you tend to pick partners who can't be there for you emotionally and are not very intimate. By that I mean they are uncomfortable sharing their feelings.
Yes.


You look for those qualities if he is a good person and u like them.


Alternately, I have heard people to be averse to the 'bad' qualities of a father as well
Probably I idealize my father, so everyone I know, perhaps including myself must compare to him when it comes to integrity and giving love with no strings attached. I am not saying he is perfect man, but he set a high threshold.
Sure, I think there is a connection. You may find that the qualities that you dislike in your Dad are the same qualities that you will have little patience for in other people. My Dad was an alcoholic, and I ended up marrying an alcoholic - maybe it was coincidence, maybe not. Thank God I had the brains to divorce my ex and I am now married to an awesome man who is NOT an alcoholic. Just be careful that you don't end up marrying or being in a relationship with someone that has the same qualities that you dislike in your Dad. Odd as it sounds, it happens more often than you would think. Best of luck to you.
Yes it will. But you can change that. Seek out a therapist and work on it. You can change anything you want about yourself.


There is nothing set in stone.
Yes it does. Fathers tend to effect girls more then they effect boys. When your looking for a future partner try to stay away from people who look or act like your Dad. Problems come when you find someone with traits like your Father. You'll be scared often and hurt easier. Find someone who loves you and doesn't scare you.
A girl's relationship with her father absolutely effects her relationship with her partner. If you had an unfulfilling relationship with your father in which you didn't experience much love from him, you're likely to try and fill that void (totally unconsciously) through your romantic relationships.


The key is to know yourself and know your weaknesses. Avoid individuals with your father's temperament and beware that your subconscious is likely to try and play out a modified Electra complex.

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